Tag: music

Tiggy’s Hit Parade – Hot Muffins with Country Church

Music fans! Need to brighten up your miserable existence with a jolly jig or a dollop of jizzy jazz? Thank the Lord for Tiggy’s Hit Parade!

(Unfortunately, Tiggy doesn’t possess a turntable or any musical knowledge, so all reviews are entirely fictional).

Get jiggy with it!

3. Country Church


You wanted an album jam-packed with ditties about grain farmers, fruit chutney and Jesus? You got it! This folk four-piece from the Prairies were hit headliners at the 1988 Saskatoon Festival of Music and Meat. Wholesome hits include:

* Taste My Muffins at the County Fayre

* The Cock Doth Rise Early In the Morn

* Foursome for the Lord

* Jesus Died So I Could Jig

* I Love to Bang (The Drum of Peace)

They should fill a sizeable slot on Nice Fluffy Family Happy Funtime with their holy hollering. Thanks to Worst Album Covers for their toppermost of the poppermost record collection.

Next Time on Hit Parade – A tuneful treat for your gay pet!


Tiggy’s Hit Parade – By Request Only

Music fans! Looking to bang, I mean, romance that special someone with a selection of sweet, sticky love songs? Check out this month’s sexy Hit Parade!

(Unfortunately, Tiggy doesn’t possess a turntable or any musical knowledge, so all reviews are entirely fictional).

Oh! I think I just came.

2. By Request Only – Ken

Oh Ken, be my ginger Valentine!

Ladies, one at a time! Immaculately groomed Ken will set female hearts a-fluttering with this hot collection of sultry love songs, just in time for Valentine’s Day!

I’m going to sleep with this record under my pillow and dream about Ken’s silky voice churning out hits including:

* Lovely Lady Lover Love

* My Hair, Your Place

* Senior Home Romeo

* I Love Your Lady Love

* My Love, Your Face

* Stop Calling Me (Angelina Jolie)

I dream of running my fingers through his thick gingery hair and feeling the prickle of his tangerine ‘tashe on my…

Next time on Hit Parade – The chutney one I was supposed to do this month. Lol.


Tiggy’s Hit Parade – A Dead Good Record

Music fans! Confused by the choices in your record store? Want to get ‘with it’ like all the hip cats down at the Hop? Or something? Then check out Tiggy’s Hit Parade reviews!

(Unfortunately, Tiggy possesses neither a turntable nor any musical knowledge, so all reviews are entirely fictional).

Do the mashed potato! And gravy.

1. All My Friends Are Dead


Poor social outcast Freddie! No clues as to the nature of his entire social circle’s demise. Either Freddie has dark secrets and suspicious lumps of meat in his freezer, or his friends simply took their lives en mass after hearing his last album I’m Hiding In Your Wardrobe.

Freddie’s miserable medleys (possibly) include:

* Banned From Facebook Again

* Swingin’ (From The Rafters)

* My Hamster Left Home

* I’m Hiding In Your Basement

* It Tastes Like Chicken, But It Isn’t Chicken

A great party album for wakes and intensive care units! Thanks to Worst Album Covers for their toppermost of the poppermost record collection.

Next time on Hit Parade – Folky Frolics… and Fruit Chutney!


Tiggy Gets Tagged – Six Of The Best

The last time I played tag I was seven and ended up losing two teeth. Happily, Sandie over at the delectable Quirky Musings of a Loony Mama has decided I’m “It” and has tagged me without using violence or stealing my lunch money. She has decreed that I must reveal six facts about myself. And I can’t make things up like I normally do.

1. The music of Beethoven makes me nervous. I used to play the cello when I was a kid. The huge instrument was odd choice for a tiny tot like myself; when my music teacher asked the class if anyone wanted to learn the cello I just said yes. I had no idea what a cello was. I assumed it was a tiny flute or something.

Damn you Beethoven, and your epic symphonies!I joined a youth orchestra and spent my weekends playing concerts in musty town halls. The highlight of our season was the Christmas Gala performance at the swanky city concert hall.
On the night of the great performance, our conductor greeted the packed hall and announced that the first treat of the evening was Beethoven’s 3rd Symphony.

Beethoven’s WHAT? I’d never heard of it! I had been off for a week with flu; the bastards must have practiced it while I was away. I glanced at my fellow musicians who were calmly putting their music scores on the stands. I didn’t even have a copy!

I had to spend the next hour miming to Beethoven in front of 5,000 people.

2. I don’t have a favourite day of the week. They all kinda suck in their own way.

I only found out later they have an elevator.3. I don’t like heights. My worst vertigo nightmare was at the Sagrada Familia church in Barcelona. I’d bravely decided to climb the stairs of the spire, but ten steps up the narrow spiral staircase I decided I’d seen quite enough. Unfortunately a group of German tourists suddenly pushed their way behind me; there was no chance of escape. The only way was up, up, up, up…

The only way out of that cursed church was to cross the tiny bridge between the two spires (which I estimated was at 15,000ft) and descend the staircase of the other tower. Shaking and sweating for over an hour, I finally clambered my way to the bottom of the staircase. Freedom!

But the door at the bottom of the staircase was LOCKED!

A chubby German tourist grabbed my arm and chirped “Nein, ve cannot get out zees way! Ve must go back the vay ve came!” and dragged me all the way back up.

Mental note: next time, wear glasses.4. I can’t drive. No, that’s not true. I can drive, just not in a way that is acceptable to everyone else on the road. I like to travel at 100 miles an hour everywhere, especially in school zones (the kids think it’s cool). I ease into tight parking spots by nudging other cars out the way. I often forget I am supposed to wear my glasses until halfway through the trip. I like slamming on the brakes and making the tires squeal, especially in school zones.

5. I’m a famous movie star (well, in my street anyway). My movie extra career has taken off since my recent movie appearance as “Princess” the pasty redhead executive. The back of my head is featuring in Tom Selleck’s latest flick, and last week I played an East Indian refugee (I had to spend quite a long time in makeup for that role). I’m very versatile. And more importantly, I’m very cheap.

6. My first ever word was “bap”. I was trying to say “The cat keeps sitting on my face” but it just wasn’t coming out right.

Well, that’s my six totally-not-made-up facts. According to the rules of the game, I’m supposed to tag six more blogs. Unfortunately, since I’m the second-to-last person in the world to get tagged, everyone else has had a go.

So stuff the rules, folks! If you fancy posting your own ‘Six Amazing Facts’ on your own blog, website or even works notice board, here’s your invitation! Send me your link and I’ll feature you or send you a cake or something. It will probably be a feature rather than a cake. But you never know.