Beards Are Sexy And I Want One
Its official – men with beards are hot. Wouldn’t you love to fiddle with Dave Grohl’s grungy stubble, or swoon over George Clooney’s latest cock pirate look? I’d run a mile in the opposite direction if they shaved, that’s for sure.
I’ve been a beard fan since I was four and fell in love with Animal from the Muppet Show (I also wanted to marry C3-PO, but that story is going no further than my therapist).
As a four-year-old girl I dreamed of having my own beard one day. My fantasy was shattered after I excitedly informed my dad I wanted a beard like Animal’s when I grew up. Dad had to break the news to his sobbing daughter that ladies couldn’t grow beards. And maybe it was also time to reveal that C3-PO wasn’t a real robot. Childhood can be so painful.
It’s not fair. If women could grow beards just think of the fun we could have with them.
– Hairdressers can double their profits as matching hair ‘n’ beard highlights become fashionable. Women can squander more money on overpriced beard-care products to enhance their facial fur.
Accessories like ribbons, glitter and flashing LED lights could be woven into the beard to create a stunning look for the weekly Girls’ Night Out.
– Woke up with a beard that would make Fidel Castro weep? Now you can add Bad Beard Day to your list of excuses to stay in bed. Tell your boss you are sick due to “women’s problems” and no further questions will be asked. If your boss is a man you can take the rest of the week off, they have no clue about these things.
– Coordinate your “lady parts” and beard with a theme! Wow them at the clothing-optional beach with matching Brazilian stripes, or a sexy heart-shaped trim to impress your sweetheart on Valentine’s Day!
Those flashing LED lights could also be incorporated for a seasonal Christmas tree theme, creating a stunning festive display “above and below”.
– Beards have lots of practical uses. Never lose your keys or small children again by simply tying them to your beard.
Growing a long ZZ-Top beard will come in handy on holiday as a fluffy beach towel, or use it to hide grocery items you are not intending to pay for.
A beard of my own is but a dream, unless I start taking steroids or save my hair clippings to create my own face fuzz. Lady beards could be the new black! Look out for it at the next Paris Fashion Show.
The cock pirate look is all the rage over at Humor-Blogs.com
12 thoughts on “Beards Are Sexy And I Want One”
Tiggy, I don’t know what they put in the water where I live but believe me, there are many women I work with who have honest to god beards. I swear it! I even know one lady who’s shirt was a little low and she had chest hair. Good post!
It is the dream of every young fellow growing up in modern-day Great Britain to one day sport a beard you could hide a badger in.
Sorry if I’m construed as rubbing it in.
If there was a way, I’d can mine and send it too you! I hate shaving with a passion! Take mine please.
Bearded women eh? What about hairy backs?
matching beard and lady parts is a scary thought. even with twinkling lights! 😉
First and foremost, I think we ought to start a hairy legs’ revolution. I planned a post on this issue when ripping my leg hair out, roots’n all, and was going to write it after reading my favourite blogs. It seems even more appropriate now. I’ll link to your post.
I really have a problem with the new beard trend. George Clooney could peel off all his skin and I’d still do ’em though.
Ettarose: Chest hair? Wow, that’s a whole new avenue of possibility! Highlights, plaids, oh you’re on to something there.
Jeffman: Yes, you are rubbing it in somewhat. Sulk.
Don: Send it on! I hope it is red, otherwise it may not suit me.
Static: Hairy backs are not so desirable for either gender. If Clooney had a hairy back, would he have been such a Hollywood success? Uhh, I feel slighty queasy now.
Chat: Twinkling lights may look strange, but it would avert the eyes away from the shaving rash.
Classical Chick: Hairy leg revolution will last approximately… until the itching starts.
Rusty: Erm, interesting image there! Now I feel even more queasy…
Let’s just say the ideas in this post bring whole new meaning to having the carpet match the drapes. Funny post, Tiggy!
Damn. I never realized until now how desperately I long for a lady beard. For me, it would have multiple uses, including hiding a double chin. Why, God, why?!
Laura: No problem, it’s my job! An unpaid and undignified job, but anyway.
JD: Double chins, sagging boobs, spotty chins… quick, pass the steroids!
the guy from ZZ Top that doesn’t have the long beard.. yeah, his last name is beard.
that guy has the best of everything…
or you could be like me…. a facial hair phobe. shit is nasty.
armpit hair…? even worse
i’ve gotta stop, i’m about to become ill.