Tiggy’s Shopping Bizarre – X- Jangle Magic Cure-All Bracelet!
How many times have you prayed for some kind of expensive copper bracelet that would cure all your ailments? Looks like the Big Guy answered your prayers with the simply magical X-Jangle! Made from a rare copper open-cast mined at a sacred Bolivian burial ground, this medical miracle will cure most known illnesses including:
* Itchy Piles
* Bad Hair
* Questionable Personal Hygiene
* Poor Spelling
* Rickets, Rabies and Dry Rot
You will probably live forever* as the X-Jangle shields you from viruses, pollution and even bullets, just like Wonder Woman’s bracelets did! The X-Jangle can be yours for only 24 payments of just $65 (plus taxes, shipping, handling, convenience fee, insurance, convenience fee insurance, insurance handling insurance and $100 administration charge).
* Excluding factors including diet, age, income, genetic predisposition, luck and whether God actually hates you.
I like to wear orange a lot. A lot. I’m worried, though, that the X-Jangle will cause fashion clashing when the copper starts to turn my skin green. With what sort of money-back guarantee does this come?
Mark’s last blog post..Onomatopoeiapocalypse Now
Finally, a cure for my poor spelling. I’ll take 7.
Chowner’s last blog post..I’m having second thoughts about my upcoming pectoral implant surgery.
I would only buy one if Wonder Woman came with the bracelet.
I’m always searching for bracelets of course. Just call me Mr. Bracelet…that’s my TITLE
VE’s last blog post..The Library
When I was a male stripper in Reno I went by the name X-Jangle.
Chris’s last blog post..The horn at Helm’s Deep
Hi Tiggy
Whats your cut on this? if brings money when you rub it I’ll take one too
Amyoops’s last blog post..Lets Play A Game
Sounds like a good idea, kinda like that “CASH 4 GOLD”
The Hussy Housewife’s last blog post..Just like Jesus…you can see me in your toast
Mark: When your skin turns green it shows the X-Jangle is working! No, really.
Chowner: I just sold a truck load to those crazy LOLcats. Rong spellinz, they haz no mor!
C: I can’t promise Wonder Woman, but Billy Mayes has expressed an interest.
Mr Bracelet: There you go.
Chris: Photos can be sent to my e-mail address below.
Amy: There are other things you can rub to gain money, but maybe I’ll send you a private message about that opportunity.
Hussy: More like Cash4Trash – even better!
Hey cash for gold is bootleg ? Is that why they never gave me my money ?
dani’s last blog post..Stupid dumb ass drivers..2/18/09
I am very disappointed by your blog. I saw that “itchy piles” was printed in blue, suggesting that it is a link. I’ve click and click and I get nothing. Where are the itchy piles? I am hoping that you will quickly rectify this problem and am willing to accept that this is a simple oversight and not a case of baiting and switching.
I have a friend who wears something similar and he swears by it. I say it is the power of suggestion.
ettarose’s last blog post..Do You Think I’m Sexy?
I am concerned that it doesn’t overcome diet, age, income, genetics, etc., but I’m liking the magical probability of having good hair and green skin!
Rickets, Rabies and Dry Rot
I have all those, so I’ll take one!!
I’d like to buy one, but I’m unsure how to know for sure if god hates me or not. Is there some kind of urine test I can take to find out?
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Ah, I remember when you could get a copper bracelet as a prize. Nice to see bracelets even small girls would throw away after a week and green arms can now be supplied at an exorbitant price.
I’m pretty sure if I owned one, I’d swear on it or to it or something.
Stephanie Barr’s last blog post..Thieving Thursday: Under the Wire
I have a cock ring that acts very similarly.
Too soon?
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Dani: I mistakenly thought the advert said ‘Cats 4 Gold’. I sent in a few kittens hoping for an ingot, but all I got was a visit from the Animal Protection League.
Mydailylist: Obviously the power of the X-Jangle has made itchy piles disappear from the internet! Wow, it must be magic.
Margo: Don’t underestimate having green skin – it gets you to the front of the ER queue in no time!
Jeff: The X-Jangle will cure it all! Providing your hand doesn’t drop off when you put it on.
Sean: A urine test to measure God’s wrath? What a great idea! Instead of confessional booths, they could install washroom stalls. An e-piss-copal breakthrough!
Stephanie: After a week of scrubbing off green, you’d probably be swearing at it.
Mooooog: Does it make things go green?
I think God actually does hate me!
thinkinfyou’s last blog post..I Never Thought I Would Live To See 100
I’m a fan of bracelets, and now I’m wishing to name all of mine X Jangle. sounds hot! 😉
Chica’s last blog post..Get your asses off the couch!
I’ll take two. These itchy piles are driving me crazy. I’m assuming there’s a money-back guarantee?
JD at I Do Things’s last blog post..I Am Deformed so you don’t have to be
Cures bad hair, eh? Awesome. No more flat ironing till my arms are numb!
X = extreme. I would buy an extreme jangle 😀
I saw an ad for these outside a jewelry store. The marketing campaign they were using? “Who knows, it might actually work?
Asshats. 😀
Julian Finn’s last blog post..Suicide by Celluloid or; Slouching Towards Creative Oblivion