« New Swear Words – Just For You!
Tiggy’s Bucket List »

Tiggy’s Shopping Bizarre – X- Jangle Magic Cure-All Bracelet!

It's Magic! Probably.

How many times have you prayed for some kind of expensive copper bracelet that would cure all your ailments? Looks like the Big Guy answered your prayers with the simply magical X-Jangle! Made from a rare copper open-cast mined at a sacred Bolivian burial ground, this medical miracle will cure most known illnesses including:

* Itchy Piles
* Bad Hair
* Questionable Personal Hygiene
* Poor Spelling
* Rickets, Rabies and Dry Rot

You will probably live forever* as the X-Jangle shields you from viruses, pollution and even bullets, just like Wonder Woman’s bracelets did! The X-Jangle can be yours for only 24 payments of just $65 (plus taxes, shipping, handling, convenience fee, insurance, convenience fee insurance, insurance handling insurance and $100 administration charge).

* Excluding factors including diet, age, income, genetic predisposition, luck and whether God actually hates you.

Posted by Tiggy on Thursday, February 19th, 2009 at 8:05 am.

23 Responses to “Tiggy’s Shopping Bizarre – X- Jangle Magic Cure-All Bracelet!”

I like to wear orange a lot. A lot. I’m worried, though, that the X-Jangle will cause fashion clashing when the copper starts to turn my skin green. With what sort of money-back guarantee does this come?

Mark’s last blog post..Onomatopoeiapocalypse Now

Left by Mark on February 19th, 2009

Finally, a cure for my poor spelling. I’ll take 7.

Chowner’s last blog post..I’m having second thoughts about my upcoming pectoral implant surgery.

Left by Chowner on February 19th, 2009

I would only buy one if Wonder Woman came with the bracelet.

Left by C. Fraser on February 19th, 2009

I’m always searching for bracelets of course. Just call me Mr. Bracelet…that’s my TITLE

VE’s last blog post..The Library

Left by VE on February 19th, 2009

When I was a male stripper in Reno I went by the name X-Jangle.

Chris’s last blog post..The horn at Helm’s Deep

Left by Chris on February 19th, 2009

Hi Tiggy
Whats your cut on this? if brings money when you rub it I’ll take one too

Amyoops’s last blog post..Lets Play A Game

Left by Amyoops on February 19th, 2009

Sounds like a good idea, kinda like that “CASH 4 GOLD”

The Hussy Housewife’s last blog post..Just like Jesus…you can see me in your toast

Left by The Hussy Housewife on February 19th, 2009

Mark: When your skin turns green it shows the X-Jangle is working! No, really.

Chowner: I just sold a truck load to those crazy LOLcats. Rong spellinz, they haz no mor!

C: I can’t promise Wonder Woman, but Billy Mayes has expressed an interest.

Mr Bracelet: There you go.

Chris: Photos can be sent to my e-mail address below.

Amy: There are other things you can rub to gain money, but maybe I’ll send you a private message about that opportunity.

Hussy: More like Cash4Trash – even better!

Left by Tiggy on February 19th, 2009

Hey cash for gold is bootleg ? Is that why they never gave me my money ?

dani’s last blog post..Stupid dumb ass drivers..2/18/09

Left by dani on February 19th, 2009

I am very disappointed by your blog. I saw that “itchy piles” was printed in blue, suggesting that it is a link. I’ve click and click and I get nothing. Where are the itchy piles? I am hoping that you will quickly rectify this problem and am willing to accept that this is a simple oversight and not a case of baiting and switching.

Left by mydailylist on February 19th, 2009

I have a friend who wears something similar and he swears by it. I say it is the power of suggestion.

ettarose’s last blog post..Do You Think I’m Sexy?

Left by ettarose on February 20th, 2009

I am concerned that it doesn’t overcome diet, age, income, genetics, etc., but I’m liking the magical probability of having good hair and green skin!

Left by Margo M on February 20th, 2009

Rickets, Rabies and Dry Rot

I have all those, so I’ll take one!!

Left by Jeff Rogers on February 20th, 2009

I’d like to buy one, but I’m unsure how to know for sure if god hates me or not. Is there some kind of urine test I can take to find out?

Sean Donlands’s last blog post..How to have the best blog on the Internet, Part Two

Left by Sean Donlands on February 20th, 2009

Ah, I remember when you could get a copper bracelet as a prize. Nice to see bracelets even small girls would throw away after a week and green arms can now be supplied at an exorbitant price.

I’m pretty sure if I owned one, I’d swear on it or to it or something.

Stephanie Barr’s last blog post..Thieving Thursday: Under the Wire

Left by Stephanie Barr on February 20th, 2009

I have a cock ring that acts very similarly.

Too soon?

moooooog35’s last blog post..Motivational Filler – Surveys

Left by moooooog35 on February 20th, 2009

Dani: I mistakenly thought the advert said ‘Cats 4 Gold’. I sent in a few kittens hoping for an ingot, but all I got was a visit from the Animal Protection League.

Mydailylist: Obviously the power of the X-Jangle has made itchy piles disappear from the internet! Wow, it must be magic.

Margo: Don’t underestimate having green skin – it gets you to the front of the ER queue in no time!

Jeff: The X-Jangle will cure it all! Providing your hand doesn’t drop off when you put it on.

Sean: A urine test to measure God’s wrath? What a great idea! Instead of confessional booths, they could install washroom stalls. An e-piss-copal breakthrough!

Stephanie: After a week of scrubbing off green, you’d probably be swearing at it.

Mooooog: Does it make things go green?

Left by Tiggy on February 20th, 2009

I think God actually does hate me!

thinkinfyou’s last blog post..I Never Thought I Would Live To See 100

Left by thinkinfyou on February 20th, 2009

I’m a fan of bracelets, and now I’m wishing to name all of mine X Jangle. sounds hot! ;)

Chica’s last blog post..Get your asses off the couch!

Left by Chica on February 21st, 2009

I’ll take two. These itchy piles are driving me crazy. I’m assuming there’s a money-back guarantee?

JD at I Do Things’s last blog post..I Am Deformed so you don’t have to be

Left by JD at I Do Things on February 21st, 2009

Cures bad hair, eh? Awesome. No more flat ironing till my arms are numb!

Left by Musing on February 22nd, 2009

X = extreme. I would buy an extreme jangle :D

Left by Man with no name on February 22nd, 2009

I saw an ad for these outside a jewelry store. The marketing campaign they were using? “Who knows, it might actually work?

Asshats. :D

Julian Finn’s last blog post..Suicide by Celluloid or; Slouching Towards Creative Oblivion

Left by Julian Finn on February 24th, 2009

Something to say?