Kids today – they don’t know they’re born, eh? I never had a Wii, cell phone or the internet when I was growing up. But I don’t envy the toys and gadgets available to today’s kids. Well, maybe I’m a bit jealous. As a kid I would have happily sold my pet hamster for a cool Japanese robot or for all that Star Wars merchandise. It’s not fair!
When I was a child all I wanted in the whole world was a Star Wars light saber. Every Christmas I’d beg my parents for that glowing plastic sword. And every Christmas I got Barbie dolls and Fuzzy Felts. That was great, but I reaaaallly wanted a light saber. A cardboard tube painted bright blue just wasn’t the same.
Starved of futuristic weapons and plastic movie merchandise, I had to make my own intergalactic entertainment.
Every weekend my little buddies and I congregated in my bedroom with a tape recorder, two plastic ray guns and a huge bottle of tartrazine-laden orange soda. We wrote, directed and starred in an awesome space adventure show called, well, Space Adventure.
I played a Princess Leia-type heroine with a flowing white gown and an alarmingly bloodthirsty outlook for a seven-year-old. My friend Sam was the ship’s commander (it’s not fair, I wanted to be commander – so much for women’s lib) and snot-nosed little Danny was DZ-7 the robot. He didn’t really relish the part as he had to spend the whole afternoon speaking in a monotone American accent. “Beep…power-failure-in-reverse-thruster-four…beep”. In hindsight, I think he would have preferred to have played Princess Leia.
We spent the whole weekend running around my bedroom, I mean Starship Eagle-5, battling fires in reverse thrusters and zapping menacing borgatron robots (also voiced by Danny in a snuffly monotone voice). “Pee-aaawwn! Pee-aaawwn!” we squealed as we pretended to fire our ray guns. Commander Sam shouted “We’re coming down too fast!” way too many times.
Aren’t Kids Irritating?
My poor parents. Their peaceful weekend was shattered by the sound of screams, thudding feet and pee-aaawwn pee-aaawwn. They were then treated to our evening presentation of Space Adventure, and were forced to listen to a three hour recording of what they’d just heard all afternoon.
If only we had been able to spend our free time glued to the internet or playing video games my house would have been a lot quieter, not full of rampaging small children waving ray guns and spilling orange soda on the carpet. But what a dull childhood that would have been! I wouldn’t have swapped Space Adventure for anything.
Strangely enough, I recently discovered that snotty little Danny now works for a major electronics company… that makes production line robots. I hope he’s not secretly working on borgatrons.
They’re coming down too fast and need to fire their reverse thrusters over at Humor-Blogs.com