Tag: gingers

Beach Bummers

Bitchin' about the beach.

While relaxing on the beach during your vacation, do you notice:

– The people with the highest fat density wear the least amount of clothes?

– Hot-looking beach babes always sit next to you when you have water retention?

– Pasty redheads on sun loungers seem to think they can outsmart solar rays?

– The person who used the beach washroom before you didn’t flush?

– Savage hungry seagulls can hear an ice cream being unwrapped from five miles away?

– All children under seven appear to be on speed?

– No matter where you lay your beach towel, you always end up next to a giant ant colony?

Go away! Go away!– Beach babes always sit next to you when you have bikini-line shaving rash?

– You find sand up your bum even if you’re sitting on a shingle beach?

– The person who used the beach washroom before you had some really bad oysters the night before?

– Fat old women with enormous flabby thighs just can’t stop bending down and picking up shells in front of you?

– Metal detector operators combing the shoreline always look poor?

– Beach babes always sit next to you when you have a hangover that would break Keith Richard?

– When you kick a kid’s sandcastle, their father is always 200lbs larger than you?

– The more wrinkly the man, the tighter the Speedos?

– No matter where you lay your beach towel, you always end up next to an overfriendly drunk hobo called Captain Billy?

– Redhead sunbathers seem to think the best cure for agonizing sunburn is more sunbathing?

– Despite storing them in an airtight box, the main ingredient of your sandwiches is sand? Or ants?

– Women who sunbathe with their legs wide open are usually over 70?

– The person who used the beach washroom before you was Captain Billy?

Beaches are hell. Stay home!


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