The Lunenburg County Bugler’s top columnist shakes his fist and rants about all the things that would get him fired if he wrote about it in the Lunenburg County Bugler.
Me and Prime Minister Stephen Harper agree on one thing. The Arts are rubbish! So-called ‘artists’ waste their time splattering paint about and poncing around on stage, when they could be doing useful jobs like building cars and running banks!
Tonight I have to review a play at the local arts theatre. The play is billed as “An intimate study of one woman’s journey through life and spirituality, reflected against the backdrop of social turmoil and political strife in 1960s Belfast”. Gahhhh!
Why are plays always about dramatic spiritual journeys and social turmoil? Why can’t they be about monkeys or something? I’d like to see a play about monkeys.
Tomorrow I have to attend an open night at the local Gallery of Modern Art. They have nibbles, which is the main reason I’m going. But how am I going to make polite conversation with the fancy art crowd about this:
Apparently, this work is a study of the symbolic progression of climate change as perceived through the eyes of nature…. I can see rabbits. With boobs? Are those things pretzels? What?
The stray cats at the local dump have created better art than that! No really, they have:
Not bad for a first attempt, Tiddles!
Ohhh, I’m so cross I’m going to set fire to the Fire Station and call it Art. Ta-ta!