Tiggy’s Word Of The Day – Teetotal

Beer and boys - ewww!

Great Aunt Tiggylina Butternut-Mynge and her Temperance Society chums eagerly await World War I.

7. Teetotal

The superhuman ability to abstain from all alcoholic beverages.

I tried being teetotal once. I went to a bar and drank only tomato juice. I drank so much I spent the rest of the night vomiting bright red fountains of spaghetti sauce. Even worse, I was sober enough to remember it.

Kids, just say NO to vegetable-based liquid refreshments.