A Social Leper on Facebook

Facebook is no LOL matter

Are you, like the rest of the Universe, on Facebook? It’s a great idea. You can find friends, friends you were avoiding can find you, and work colleagues can chat all day without leaving their desks. Join new groups, meet exciting, beautiful people (if you believe their profile picture) and spend valuable time swapping hilarious Fun Wall posts!

Everybody Loves Tiggy
I was new in town and friendless. No need to hang around Starbucks looking lonely, I could use Facebook to meet interesting locals. I sent friend requests to a few people I’d bumped into once or twice. I sent requests to people I didn’t know but were in my new buddies’ network, so they must be fun to hang out with. From Tiggy-no-mates to 28 new friends in one day! Thanks Facebook, my fun social life awaits!

As usual, my optimism was short-lived. I checked Facebook every day for posts and party invites. It was very quiet. My new friend count had stalled at 31. The most popular, fun-loving guy in my friends’ network had not responded to my friend request. A week passed, then two. Nothing. I began monitoring his movements – he was accepting other requests but not mine. I felt rejected. I was upset because someone I didn’t know wanted to keep it that way.

Paranoid Hermit
I began spying on my so-called friends as they posted on each other’s message boards. Geoff and Ricky went on a pub crawl last Saturday. Bob had a great time at Sarah and Dave’s party. No-one posted on my board. My “Hi there, must meet up soon!” posts were drawing blanks. I was becoming paranoid. They were all partying behind my back, laughing about me and telling everyone in town to ignore my friend requests…

Facebook had failed me, simply confirming my social outcast status and turning me into an online stalker. I had two choices – head to the wilderness and become a hermit, or forget online networking and venture back into the real world. I didn’t need an internet connection to meet people.

And if I made some real friends I could always invite them to join my Facebook…