Tag: youtube

Tiggy’s Shopping Bizarre – Portable Hot Tub

Hot Tub Heaven - of course you don't look stupid!

There’s nothing finer than sitting in your garden taking a bath in a luminous orange cauldron. This go-anywhere futuristic Dutch tub (not to be confused with a Dutch cap, which is somewhat smaller) is a great way to socialize with friends, neighbours and naked men.

 

We come in peace! To bang your leaf blower!* You’ll be a hot tub hit at the local Salvation Army hostel this Christmas! Simply fill the tub with soup and ladle some festive cheer to the homeless. Afterwards, fill it with hot soapy water and treat your tramping chums to a refreshing soak before pushing them back onto the mean streets.

* Turn the tub upside down and bury it in your neighbour’s garden. Call the local TV station and tell them a UFO has crash-landed next door and a giant purple alien is trying to have sex with their lawn mower. Better call the cops too, this will be a great YouTube moment.

 

There’s a sexy hot tub party every night at Humor-Blogs.com


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Tiggy’s Shopping Bizarre – Fake Corpses

Shopping on the internet is fun! From the comfort of your own home, you can browse millions of stores and buy all sorts of stuff you don’t really need.

I’m featuring some of the toppermost of the shoppermost must-have items here at Tiggy’s Shopping Bizarre! And there’ll be even more junk appearing at a brand spanking new website – coming soon!

 

CORPSES FOR SALE – They’re Not Real! I Think.

Margaret Thatcher never looked so good!

Corpses For Sale provides a one-stop-shop for all your necrotic needs. Browse through an extensive selection of realistic stiffs (not being familiar with real-life dead people I couldn’t vouch for their authenticity).

Customize your corpse’s degree of decay! Buy it a nice wig! Imagine the hours of pleasure your personal cadaver will bring.

 

* Take corpsey for a ride so you can use the car pool lane. If you get caught by the police just tell them you are taking your grandmother to a funeral – hers. It will raise a smile with the cops and they will let you off. Probably.

* As a hilarious yet harmless prank, bury it in your neigbour’s garden and call the cops. Don’t forget to film it for YouTube!

* Hide an eye or rotting finger in your kid’s school lunch box. Imagine how adorable they will look as they scream in terror and piss themselves in front of their friends in the dinner hall. Precious!

 


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Useful Things To Do With Snow

Pretend Drugs Fun

Snow. It’s fun for the first week, isn’t it? Four months of non-stop blizzards later, I’m tiring of the frosty white stuff.

The lady on the Weather Channel advised me to leave my nice warm house and try to embrace it. I went skiing but was politely asked to leave the slopes after mowing down a kindergarten snowboarding class. I made a snowman, but he scared me. There must be something else to do with snow.

Freezer – When the power goes out (and it will) rescue your beer and fish sticks by burying them in the snow. However, you will need to maintain a 24-hour guard to ensure raccoons, rats and neighbours keep away from your precious horde. That ice pick will come in handy after all.

Post No Bills – Pack your postbox full of snow. Postal workers will be unable to deliver those post-Christmas credit card statements and outrageous heating bills.

Time Capsule – Keep the kids amused by placing newspaper clippings, photos and post-Christmas credit card statements in a time capsule. Place under a pile of snow. The spring thaw (May) will reveal the capsule! Go down memory lane and revisit the good old days (January).

Popsicles – Pour orange juice on the snow and suck away.

Snow Art – Pile up snow and call it Art. Your front garden is now an art gallery so there may be Government tax credits to be had. Give your snow piles pretentious names like “Sky Dream Mastication #16” and collect $$$ from your local Arts department.

eBay – Might as well try selling it. If people can auction single cornflakes and donuts shaped like Pope John Paul II, who knows what else the idiots will bid for. Shovel snow into a jar and call it “Elasticated Sky Box #9” to add value. Your customer may complain the installation has melted when they receive it, but that’s like, Art , right?

YouTube Drug Fun – Pretend your garden is full of cocaine. Pretend to snort it and fall over a lot. Get your friends to film it and put it on YouTube. Isn’t YouTube a hoot?

Psychedelic Snow Drug Fun – Sprinkle food dyes around your neighbour’s snowy garden and act normal. When they ask you if you can see multi-colour snow, declare they must be on psychedelic drugs and call the cops. Get your friends to film it and put it on YouTube. What fun!

Now I’ve come up with all these great ideas for enjoying snow, the sun has come out and the damn stuff has melted into grimy grey blobs. Thanks for nothing, lady on the Weather Channel.


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