Tag: words

Oh, Hai, Ku! Tiggy’s Day in Poetry

A poet recently won $100,000 in a literary competition. $100,000 just for writing poems! I’ll have some of that. I can’t be bothered to write long rambling epics a la Wordsworth and Milton, so I’m going make my fortune writing haiku poetry.

A haiku poem has three lines. Each line has to contain five syllables for the first line, then seven for the next line and five for the last. Even someone as numerically challenged as me can count to seven. Just.

The poem has to skillfully convey a feeling, image or moment in time. Japanese scholars spend years studying haiku. I’ve spent twenty minute on Wikipedia. That should suffice.

I’ll have a stab and see what meaningful imagery and Zen-like wisdom I can conjure up, using a normal day in Tiggyland as inspiration.



Hai kitty.


And I would have got away with it too if it hadn't been for those bastard, bastard meddling kids!


Bill Gates in poetry inspiration shock!

Blimey, this haiku writing is a doddle!

Marc Emery would not be proud.


The grease is the best bit!


Inspiration and beauty can be found in the strangest situations..

Well, that was my day in haiku. I think that effort must be worth at least $100,000. Would you, dear readers, care to share your haiku gems?


But before you go off and scribble down your poetic musings, check this out! I am taking part in a Blog Carnival today – no idea what that is, but I assume it involves candy apples and children vomiting on the ferris wheel. Click here to join in the carnival capers at Edge of Sanity!

Oh, and happy Thanksgiving day, Canucks!


Tiggy’s Word Of The Day – Schadenfreude

Hahah! Hahahahah!!11. Schadenfreude

Not to be confused with shaftenfreund, which involves Bavarian sausages and hairy men called Gunter, schadenfreude is when the misfortune of others results in you having a bloody good laugh at their expense, making you feel better about your own pathetic life.

For example. Your so-called friends decide to hold a massive party. It’s going to be the best party in town! But your probation officer forbids you from going. It’s not fair! You will miss all the fun. You are sad.

The party is in full swing. But suddenly a huge hurricane blows through town, sweeping up the partygoers and washing them away into the sea to be lost forever. Their party is totally ruined! Lol. You feel much better.

Coming soon on Tiggyblog: Tiggy tries her hand at the ancient art of Haiku poetry! Then makes her movie acting debut (no, really!) How much of a mess can she make of that? Find out soon… and don’t forget to to subscribe to keep up with the latest madness!


Tiggy’s Word Of The Day – Kawaii

Agggh! Kawaii cute overload!

10. Kawaii

A Japanese word meaning ‘Cute Panties’.

Having conquered the world’s auto market by making things that didn’t break down and piss oil every six miles, Japanese designers devoted the rest of their time to drawing cute fluffy things.

Keep Kitty close with Kawaii Panties!By simply adding images of big-eyed bunnies to boxes of squid-flavoured candy, they discovered they could extract $$$ from small children.

It is now compulsory for all Japanese products to be emblazoned with happy fruit or tearful pandas.

In the hope of creating the next big Kawaii hit I drew a smiley face on a potato, called it Mi So Happy Pom and touted it around Tokyo.

But it went a bit mouldy.

Tiggy's Kawaii effort. Hmm.

They’re plushy, cute and wear Hello Kitty panties over at Humor-Blogs.com



Tiggy Joins The No Cussing Club

Swearing - not big or clever.

My language is often less than lady-like. I could give a 350lb Docker with a spade through his foot a run for his money in a swearing contest. I didn’t want admit I had a problem until I called my boss a cock pirate (to be fair, he took it entirely out of context). It was time to act.

Sign of Intelligence
I joined the No Cussing Club. Happy orange-shirted kiddies smiled at me from their website in encouragement. I too could a live profanity-free life! All I had to do was swear a pledge of allegiance (without swearing), buy an orange Club wristband and my potty mouth would be silenced forever! I couldn’t let the children down.

“I won’t cuss, swear, use bad language, or tell dirty jokes. Clean language is the sign of intelligence and always demands respect. I will use my language to uplift, encourage and motivate. I will Leave People Better Than I Found Them!”

I made it through the oath but as I tried to order my wristband my computer crashed. “Fuck!” I yelled, and realized I’d broken my pledge in under two minutes. “FUCK!” I exclaimed again as I realized I’d just said ‘fuck’. This was going to be tough.

The website suggested I try alternatives to swear words. Just use an everyday word, the first one that pops into your head. My friends began to wonder whether I was high on drugs as I randomly shouted out “Switzerland!” “Fudge Bucket!” and “Wooden Monkey Carving!”. The fact that these were the first words to pop into my head was worrying. Maybe the Club wristband was affecting my circulation.

I sounded like a Dictionary with Tourette’s and was becoming reluctant to speak in case I slipped up. I imagined tears running down the children’s orange glowing faces as I wrestled with my fudges and fucks. I had failed the No Cussing Club kids.

I’m sorry kids. It’s not that I have a limited vocabulary and don’t know lots of big clever words. But sometimes only a fuck will do. When you’re grown up and you put a spade through your foot you’ll understand.