Tag: Shopping Bizarre

Tiggy’s Shopping Bizarre – Adult Baby Diapers

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I’m A Big Kid Now!

I'm a big kid now.

I thought adult diapers were designed for people with a medical condition until I discovered these cutie-pie XXL sized botty potty bags!

Big babies everywhere can sleep comfortably in their cribs wearing these high quality diapers. But they’re not just for the nursery!

* Never miss a minute of the hockey game or theatrical spectacular while wearing the ultimate in porta-potties!

* Ladies, no need to spend hours lining up at the nightclub washrooms when you can go… without going anywhere!

* A diaper for the winter sports market is overflowing with potential. Spend all day on-piste without getting piste-off struggling with bulky snowsuits in the washroom! Banish that frosty feeling with instant warm relief whenever nature calls! I see Winter Olympics merchandising opportunities here.


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Tiggy’s Shopping Bizarre – X- Jangle Magic Cure-All Bracelet!

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It's Magic! Probably.

How many times have you prayed for some kind of expensive copper bracelet that would cure all your ailments? Looks like the Big Guy answered your prayers with the simply magical X-Jangle! Made from a rare copper open-cast mined at a sacred Bolivian burial ground, this medical miracle will cure most known illnesses including:

* Itchy Piles
* Bad Hair
* Questionable Personal Hygiene
* Poor Spelling
* Rickets, Rabies and Dry Rot

You will probably live forever* as the X-Jangle shields you from viruses, pollution and even bullets, just like Wonder Woman’s bracelets did! The X-Jangle can be yours for only 24 payments of just $65 (plus taxes, shipping, handling, convenience fee, insurance, convenience fee insurance, insurance handling insurance and $100 administration charge).

* Excluding factors including diet, age, income, genetic predisposition, luck and whether God actually hates you.


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Tiggy’s Shopping Bizarre – Teach Yourself Taxidermy Kit

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Stuff it and see!

Tired of paying $$$ to Bob’s Taxidermy for your road kill trophies? Simply stuff it yourself with this awesome DIY taxidermy kit! It contains all the tools and plastic sheeting you need to learn the ancient art of mammal mounting.

* It’s easy when you know how! With a few careful incisions remove soft tissue, mucus and entrails from your subject. Stretch the remains around a mould, pop in some eyes and presto!

Your friends will be so impressed they’ll be lining up at your door with piles of fresh kill just dying to be immortalized!

* Don’t let the beloved former family pet rot away in a hole – the best monument to your pet IS your pet! Fluffy or Rover can now sit loyally on the fireplace or bookshelf forever.

Help your kids through the grieving process by letting them help with their dead pet’s taxidermy treatment. It will make a great school science project.


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Tiggy’s Shopping Bizarre – Space Suits

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Ooh, I'd like to ride your shuttle!Wow! I nearly came when I saw these out-of-this-world super space suits! Frustrated shuttle pilots everywhere can indulge their fantasies with these cosmic costumes.

Simply redecorate your garage or lounge in tin foil, and create high-tech controls from old switches and cereal boxes… and prepare to lift off!

There’s no end of space fantasies I’d love to recreate inside my shiny capsule.

Of course you won't look stupid.* To enhance your galactic experience, hire a children’s bouncy castle and pretend to bounce your way across the moon or even Mars! Don’t forget – shoes off first.

* For a hilarious prank, pretend you are a Cosmonaut who has crash-landed in your neighbour’s garden. Tell them in made-up Russian you need them to urgently phone Vladimir Putin, NASA and the nearest Radioactive Waste Decontamination Unit. They will be thrilled to have such fun-loving neighbours!

If you can’t afford to spend $$$ at The Space Store, simply pop over to the Kennedy Space Center and grab yourself a pair of these fetching high-tech intergalactic… oven gloves!

They bake muffins in space, too!

As used on the space shuttle by Neil Armstrong! Probably.


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