Meat Beat’s Sizzling Barbecue Guide
Hey there meat maniacs, it’s time for another Meat Beat!
Bob: Hi, Tiggy fans! Bob Nutter here, assistant to the High Priest of Ham himself, Monty O’Drizzle. Sadly, Monty can’t join us this month; he had a bit of an accident involving a steak sandwich and a tub of glue. Probably best not to ask questions at this point. Instead, Monty’s brother, Mike O’Drizzle, is here to share his extensive meat knowledge!
Mike: Hello there, boys! And hi to the little ladies too, I guess. You’re lookin’ mighty fine today, Bob! That shirt sets off them muscles of yours mighty nice.
Bob: Erm, thanks. Mike, now summer is here, it’s time to think about buying a new barbecue. I’m hoping to have a party this weekend, get some hunting buddies together on my deck, and fire up some hunks of fresh meat.
Mike: Bob, there’s nothin’ finer than firin’ up a few hunks. Of fresh meat, I mean! Can I come to yous party?
Bob: Of course, Mike! But be warned, my buddies have lots of stamina and party pretty hard, it will be a long hot night!
Mike: Sounds like a party that’s right up my alley, fer sure!
Bob: Yeah, anyway Mike, about this barbecue …
Mike: Bob, bein’ a huge meat fan, I was happy to do some research for y’all, and conduct a thorough test of the top barbeques out there. So I went down to my local Home and Garden centre to check out some best buys.
Bob: That’s great Mike, very kind of you. So what did you find out?
Mike: Well Bob, I was assisted by a nice young guy called Dan, who is a barbecue expert at the store. He was mighty enthusiastic about sharin’ his expertise with ole Mike.
Bob: OK, shout out to young Dan there! Honestly Mike, is it just me, or are these in-store experts getting younger these days?
Mike: I know what yer sayin’ Bob; I’d say young Dan was only in his early twenties! And about 180lb, six foot tall, dark brown eyes, looked like he worked out, I’d say.
Bob: OK Mike, I think that was probably more information than we needed. Anyway, I guess you and Dan had a fine old time in the barbecue department, prodding and poking, and exploring all the options?
Mike: Fer sure, Bob! I ran my hands over all the parts, we tested the knobs for sturdiness, and then we got a bit of meat goin’ on there.
Bob: So Mike, from your research, what model barbecue would you recommend to our readers out there?
Mike: Barbecue? Oh, I don’t really know there Bob, me and Dan were havin’ too much of a good time to look at barbecues. I guess any of them would be fine.
Bob: OK Mike, thanks for that barbecue test. I’m sure Tiggyblog readers will be rushing to the Home and Garden store right now to get some advice. And thanks to Dan for giving a helping hand.
Mike: Oh, you got that right, Bob! I’m goin’ back to the store tomorrow to test the power drills.
Bob: Mike, once again that was too much information. Anyway, I’m looking forward to having a great time grilling steaks on my new barbecue this weekend!
Mike: And I’m lookin’ forward to comin’ to the party, fer sure! And if any of you male readers out there are chefs or have meat handlin’ skills, be sure to give ole Mike O’Drizzle a call, and send a photo if you have one, as I’ll be lookin’ for some guys to help me out at the barbecue. Ain’t that right, Bobby?
Bob: Oh Christ. Anyway Tiggy fans, let’s all pray Monty is back in one piece for next month’s Meat Beat. Keep on cookin’!