Two whole words of the day, you lucky people! I must be on happy drugs.

5. Spong

A real word. And you thought piggle was made up. Referring to “irregular, narrow, projecting part of a field” I believe it is also the sound tofu makes when you poke it with a fork.

If Tofu was called Spong they would sell a lot more of it.

6. Tofu

A tasteless wobbly substance with a texture similar to the stuff you find clogging household drainpipes. Curdled bean scrapings are compressed to form mattress-sized slabs of quivering goo. Springy enough to use as a mattress but usually chopped up and put into vegetarian products instead of real food.

The Tofu marketing department missed a trick by not calling it Spong.

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4. Taxidermist

Veterinarian for dead animals. Duties include pulling guts from gunned-down moose and posing dead cats in hilarious ‘human-like’ poses.

The vast majority of taxidermists are called Bob.

I’d love to walk into a taxidermist’s studio and say “Hi there Bob, how much to stuff my beaver?”

If anyone has a dead beaver they no longer need, please let me know.

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3. Piggle

Not officially a word. You can piggle your finger at or in something, like a cross between a wiggle and a pig I suppose. Pigs don’t have fingers but I’m sure if they did they would piggle worms out the ground with them.
Do pigs eat worms? I can’t say I’ve noticed.

Alright, I can see why that word isn’t in the dictionary.

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