Everything Found In 'Shopping Bizarre' Category

Kittyland Love Centre.Is your fluffy friend bored? Kitty tired of shredding your sofa and sicking up dead mouse parts? See his cats eyes light up with this Cat Activity Centre! Combining materials developed on the International Space Station with Japanese construction technology (possibly) this tower of feline fun will make kitty purrrrr!

Pussy will delight in scampering up and down the ladders, hiding in the catnip-infused boxes and swinging on the hammock thing. They’ll never want to leave!

 

Don’t forget Fido – boffins are currently developing a range of doggylicious toys for your pooch, including:

It's sock-vomit doggy heaven!* Sock On A String – Now Rover can swallow his favourite laundry item all day without that expensive trip to the veterinarian!

Simply pull the string to retrieve sock from your dog’s digestive tract.

* Doggy ‘Doo-Doughs’ Treats – your hound is always happy when he’s playing with poo! These yummy brown piles taste as good as they look.

Simply scatter a handful of treats around the garden and your dog will think he’s in the local park! Safe for kids, too.


Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinteresttumblrmail

SB - halloween pumpkins

Halloween needn’t be Hell this season! Now your kids can spread the word of the Lord while scaring the neighbourhood with these fetching costumes! Lovingly handcrafted at the Convent of the Blind Virgins in Alabama, these beautiful costumes will warm even the coldest of atheist hearts!

* Anoint your own Pope Cute I in this fetching papal gown. He’ll have great fun bestowing Sainthoods and rounding up heretics at the kiddies’ Halloween party.

Gimmie a cookie and I won't excommunicate you!

* Your little Angel will be a vision of purity in the St Agnes of Diphtheria costume! She will be charmed by the story of Agnes, a simple Syrian farm girl who saw a vision of Christ and was promptly beheaded by those dreadful Muslims.

Too cute! Unless you're an angry Muslim with an axe.

Don’t forget your kids’ friends are only laughing at them because they are jealous and sinful! And their parents are probably poor.

Fun for the faithful shouldn’t stop at bedtime! Treat your tots to a set of Evangelical PJs! Available in Bride of Christ or Crusading Infidel Destroyer themes for your innocent little lambs!

Onward Christian soldiers, marching off to beddybyes...

With cute hand-crafted “Righteousness” motifs and a fetching red cross of war, your kids can sleep peacefully knowing the Lord is protecting them through the power of polyester.*

* Not tested against evil spirits or machete-wielding clowns. Highly flammable – do not wear near burning bushes or crosses.

 

Head on over to the Humor Bloggers’ Halloween Carnival  –
guaranteed to put the willies up you!


Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinteresttumblrmail

Missed another flying saucer sighting? Make sure you’re first in the Close Encounters queue with this space-age UFO Detector, a bargain at only $69 of your Earth dollars!

No anal probes for you with this UFO detection unit!

 

* Its powerful radar scans the sky for extra-terrestrials lurking up to 25 miles away!

*A flashing light will activate when the approaching interplanetary fleet is detected. Probably.

* The detector’s compact size means you can take it camping, to the mall, in the shower – and it’s quicker than waiting for that ‘mutilated dead cow’ calling card those crazy aliens love to leave!

 

 But wait! There’s more! You too can be a ghost-busting hero with the incredible super-high-tech Ghost Detector!

It's a spooktacular gift for kids!

* This state-of-the-art device alerts you whenever a headless horseman or murdered Victorian housemaid floats by.

A great gift for impressionable young children. Boo!

 

Share your alien anal probe stories over at Humor-Blogs.com


Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinteresttumblrmail

Hot Tub Heaven - of course you don't look stupid!

There’s nothing finer than sitting in your garden taking a bath in a luminous orange cauldron. This go-anywhere futuristic Dutch tub (not to be confused with a Dutch cap, which is somewhat smaller) is a great way to socialize with friends, neighbours and naked men.

 

We come in peace! To bang your leaf blower!* You’ll be a hot tub hit at the local Salvation Army hostel this Christmas! Simply fill the tub with soup and ladle some festive cheer to the homeless. Afterwards, fill it with hot soapy water and treat your tramping chums to a refreshing soak before pushing them back onto the mean streets.

* Turn the tub upside down and bury it in your neighbour’s garden. Call the local TV station and tell them a UFO has crash-landed next door and a giant purple alien is trying to have sex with their lawn mower. Better call the cops too, this will be a great YouTube moment.

 

There’s a sexy hot tub party every night at Humor-Blogs.com


Facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinteresttumblrmail