How many times have you prayed for some kind of expensive copper bracelet that would cure all your ailments? Looks like the Big Guy answered your prayers with the simply magical X-Jangle! Made from a rare copper open-cast mined at a sacred Bolivian burial ground, this medical miracle will cure most known illnesses including:
* Itchy Piles
* Bad Hair
* Questionable Personal Hygiene
* Poor Spelling
* Rickets, Rabies and Dry Rot
You will probably live forever* as the X-Jangle shields you from viruses, pollution and even bullets, just like Wonder Woman’s bracelets did! The X-Jangle can be yours for only 24 payments of just $65 (plus taxes, shipping, handling, convenience fee, insurance, convenience fee insurance, insurance handling insurance and $100 administration charge).
* Excluding factors including diet, age, income, genetic predisposition, luck and whether God actually hates you.