Music fans! Looking to bang, I mean, romance that special someone with a selection of sweet, sticky love songs? Check out this month’s sexy Hit Parade!

(Unfortunately, Tiggy doesn’t possess a turntable or any musical knowledge, so all reviews are entirely fictional).

Oh! I think I just came.

2. By Request Only – Ken

Ladies, one at a time! Immaculately groomed Ken will set female hearts a-fluttering with this hot collection of sultry love songs, just in time for Valentine’s Day!

I’m going to sleep with this record under my pillow and dream about Ken’s silky voice churning out hits including:

* Lovely Lady Lover Love

* My Hair, Your Place

* Senior Home Romeo

* I Love Your Lady Love

* My Love, Your Face

* Stop Calling Me (Angelina Jolie)

I dream of running my fingers through his thick gingery hair and feeling the prickle of his tangerine ‘tashe on my…

Next time on Hit Parade – The chutney one I was supposed to do this month. Lol.

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Music fans! Confused by the choices in your record store? Want to get ‘with it’ like all the hip cats down at the Hop? Or something? Then check out Tiggy’s Hit Parade reviews!

(Unfortunately, Tiggy possesses neither a turntable nor any musical knowledge, so all reviews are entirely fictional).

Do the mashed potato! And gravy.

1. All My Friends Are Dead

Poor social outcast Freddie! No clues as to the nature of his entire social circle’s demise. Either Freddie has dark secrets and suspicious lumps of meat in his freezer, or his friends simply took their lives en mass after hearing his last album I’m Hiding In Your Wardrobe.

Freddie’s miserable medleys (possibly) include:

* Banned From Facebook Again

* Swingin’ (From The Rafters)

* My Hamster Left Home

* I’m Hiding In Your Basement

* It Tastes Like Chicken, But It Isn’t Chicken

A great party album for wakes and intensive care units! Thanks to Worst Album Covers for their toppermost of the poppermost record collection.

Next time on Hit Parade – Folky Frolics… and Fruit Chutney!

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