Tiggyblog » Hit Parade http://www.tiggyblog.com It's the stuff that comes out of my brain. Tue, 15 Jun 2010 13:00:07 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 Tiggy’s Hit Parade: Back To The Shit http://www.tiggyblog.com/2010/05/18/tiggys-hit-parade-back-to-the-shit/ http://www.tiggyblog.com/2010/05/18/tiggys-hit-parade-back-to-the-shit/#comments Tue, 18 May 2010 13:00:09 +0000 Tiggy http://www.tiggyblog.com/?p=898 Music fans! Are you illin’ fo’ the shizzle? Need some phat beats for your ride? Check out Tiggy’s Hit Parade!

(Unfortunately, Tiggy doesn’t possess a turntable or any musical knowledge, so all reviews are entirely fictional).

It’s tizzy fizzle! I think.

Craptastic!

10. Back to the Shit – Millie Jackson

The eagerly-awaited follow up to Millie’s No.1 hit Pissed Myself Again is a toilet-tastic album of shit-hot hit dance anthems! The perfect soundtrack to those extended meetings with WC, you’ll be jiving on the john to tracks including:

* Ho’s Gotta Go
* Check This Shit Out (Featuring Pee Diddy)
* Bling My Ring
* Pump It Up (Call the Plumber)
* I Wouldn’t Go In There Just Yet

Guaranteed to go straight to no.2 in the Poop Charts!

Next time on Hit Parade… Call Doctor House – this record needs resuscitation!

]]> http://www.tiggyblog.com/2010/05/18/tiggys-hit-parade-back-to-the-shit/feed/ 6 Hit Parade: Songs for Sewage! http://www.tiggyblog.com/2009/12/01/hit-parade-songs-for-sewage/ http://www.tiggyblog.com/2009/12/01/hit-parade-songs-for-sewage/#comments Tue, 01 Dec 2009 14:00:45 +0000 Tiggy http://www.tiggyblog.com/?p=773 Music fans! Need to brighten up your miserable existence with a jolly jig or a dollop of jizzy jazz? Thank the Lord for Tiggy’s Hit Parade!

(Unfortunately, Tiggy doesn’t possess a turntable or any musical knowledge, so all reviews are entirely fictional).

Get jiggy with it!

Why? Why?

9. Music to Help Clean Up Stream Pollution By

Does your local river glow in the dark? Kiddies got the squits after playing in the stream? Grab your chemical suit and this eco-riffic folk album and prepare to go GREEN!

Features performances from vegan militants Angry Tofu, the very green Nelly Tinkle’s’ Bean Explosion and fish fanciers Axl Moby and the Dicks. Sing along as you sift out rotting fish and noxious algae!*

Organic free-range masterpieces include:

* Curd Is the Word
* Knit Me a Hemp Farm
* Crab on my Cock
* Die, Meat Suckers!
* Beans and Broccoli (Ballard of Pepto Bismol)
* Winkle on my Winkle

*Record player may not function outdoors; purchase long cable or diesel generator for optimum performance.

Next time on Hit Parade… a record that really is shit!

]]> http://www.tiggyblog.com/2009/12/01/hit-parade-songs-for-sewage/feed/ 2 Tiggy’s Hit Parade: Futuristic Folk Songs of the Future! http://www.tiggyblog.com/2009/10/19/tiggys-hit-parade-futuristic-folk-songs-of-the-future/ http://www.tiggyblog.com/2009/10/19/tiggys-hit-parade-futuristic-folk-songs-of-the-future/#comments Mon, 19 Oct 2009 10:50:53 +0000 Tiggy http://www.tiggyblog.com/?p=720 Music fans! Confused by the choice at your local record store? Want to get ‘with it’ and ‘hip’ like all the cats at the local Hop? Or something? Check out Tiggy’s Hit Parade!

(Unfortunately, Tiggy doesn’t possess a turntable or any musical knowledge, so all reviews are entirely fictional).

Prepare to get all folked-up with this folking awesome LP!

OMG, space and rocket ships and folk!

8. Folk Songs for the 21st Century

The 21st century may seem like a long way off now, but think of the fun we’ll have in the future! Space travel will be as easy as catching a bus, holidays to Jupiter will be commonplace, and we’ll all have personal robots to cook our meals and provide intimate pleasure!

Star trekkin’ troubadour Sheldon has travelled all the way back from the 21st century to share his “folk of the future” with us! Hyperspace-hopping hits include:

* The Green, Green Grass of Alpha Death Star Z-71
* My Dirty Ro-Bo Ho
* My Lover From Venus, She Had a Penis
* Jizzy Spacesuit Blues
* A Piddle on the Moon
* Cock Rocket (That’s She Called Me)

Can’t wait 100 years for Sheldon’s next cosmic collection? Simply get yourself cryogenically frozen – make sure you defrost in time for his next out-of-this-world long playing album!

Next time on Hit Parade… songs to clean up river pollution by! No really. It’s an album full of songs to clean up river pollution by.

Look, I don’t record the bloody things.

]]> http://www.tiggyblog.com/2009/10/19/tiggys-hit-parade-futuristic-folk-songs-of-the-future/feed/ 9 Tiggy’s Hit Parade: Pirate Pranks and Salty Seamen! http://www.tiggyblog.com/2009/08/10/tiggys-hit-parade-pirate-pranks-and-salty-seamen/ http://www.tiggyblog.com/2009/08/10/tiggys-hit-parade-pirate-pranks-and-salty-seamen/#comments Mon, 10 Aug 2009 10:57:09 +0000 Tiggy http://www.tiggyblog.com/?p=696 Music fans! Need to brighten up your miserable existence with a jolly jig or a dollop of juicy jazz? Thank the Lord for Tiggy’s Hit Parade!

(Unfortunately, Tiggy doesn’t possess a turntable or any musical knowledge, so all reviews are entirely fictional).

Get jizzy with it!

Cock Pirates

7. Anchor’s Away! Captain Hook and His Pirates

Shiver me timbers and suck me cockles! You’ll will have a scurvy-licious time listening to the Cap’n and his hearty high-seas shanties! Real-life pirate Captain Randy Hook and his first mate Annie MacMuffin welcome you ‘all aboard’ their fantasy ship stuffed to the rafters with friendly pirates and barrels of booty!

Hook’s musical pieces of eight include:

* Pat the Pirate’s Special Sword
* Going Down on the Good Ship Molly
* A Stormy Night and a Rough Ride
* The Tale of Salty Seaman Jack
* A Jolly Roger
* Jig Around My Mast

Kids will also love the FREE eye patch included with this musical marvel, and give them hours of rollicking one-eyed fun. Arrrrrr!

Next time on Hit Parade: The space-time continuum gets all fucked up with a folk singer from… THE FUTURE!

]]> http://www.tiggyblog.com/2009/08/10/tiggys-hit-parade-pirate-pranks-and-salty-seamen/feed/ 12 Tiggy’s Hit Parade: Fingerfuch am Disco Party! http://www.tiggyblog.com/2009/06/16/tiggys-hit-parade-fingerfuch-am-disco-party/ http://www.tiggyblog.com/2009/06/16/tiggys-hit-parade-fingerfuch-am-disco-party/#comments Tue, 16 Jun 2009 10:50:28 +0000 Tiggy http://www.tiggyblog.com/?p=647 Music fans! Are you illin’ fo’ the shizzle? Need some phat beats for your ride? Check out Tiggy’s Hit Parade!

(Unfortunately, Tiggy doesn’t possess a turntable or any musical knowledge, so all reviews are entirely fictional).

It’s tizzy fizzle! I think.

Oooh! Ricke Low's Orkester!

6. Kjell Kraghe Featuring Ricke Low’s Orkester! Or something!

James Last and his Orchestra too highbrow? Looking for an eclectic Euro pops album with a cool synth vibe? Kjell Kraghe is the genius behind Vind I Selgnbthing, featuring Ricke Low’s Orkester (a bit like an symphony orchestra, but with more hair).

Non-stop Eurozone disco fun includes:

* Ich Bin Sexy Love Boat
* Hot Dog, Hot Dog
* Lumpen Pants Gestuffen
* Hajj Hajj Happy Pis!
* Fingerfuch am Disco Party

The album cover is a work of art! By the wonders of Photoshop wizardry, Kjell-baby appears to be rising from the sea like a polyester-clad Neptune. Es gut, ja!

Thanks to Worst Album Covers for this masterpiece of LP art.

Next time on Hit Parade: Shiver me timbers and lash me cockles… It’s Pirate Pops!

]]> http://www.tiggyblog.com/2009/06/16/tiggys-hit-parade-fingerfuch-am-disco-party/feed/ 10 Tiggy’s Hit Parade: Puppet Pranks with Harry and Terry! http://www.tiggyblog.com/2009/05/25/tiggys-hit-parade-puppet-pranks-with-harry-and-terry/ http://www.tiggyblog.com/2009/05/25/tiggys-hit-parade-puppet-pranks-with-harry-and-terry/#comments Mon, 25 May 2009 10:50:49 +0000 Tiggy http://www.tiggyblog.com/?p=625 Music fans! Confused by the choice at your local record store? Want to get ‘with it’ and ‘hip’ like all the cats at the local Hop? Or something? Check out Tiggy’s Hit Parade!

(Unfortunately, Tiggy doesn’t possess a turntable or any musical knowledge, so all reviews are entirely fictional).

Let’s rock around the cock!

A puppet show... in audio! Hmmm.

5. Harry and Terry

Attention fans of freaky little mechanical puppets! Top ventriloquist Terry and his little woody friend bring you the finest in voice-throwing fun… you won’t even see his lips move!

This amazing record showcases the talented duo’s spectacular routine including:

* Tap dancing – boy, that little wooden fella can move!
* Magic tricks! Pick a card, any card…
* Terry drinks a glass of water while Harry sings a song – you won’t believe your ears!
* A rousing rendition of their 1988 chart-topping hit I’m Inside My Best Friend
* A fabulous finale with dancing showgirls and a unicycling hamster

Hopefully a video version of the show will be released in the future.

Thanks to Worst Album Covers for their toppermost of the poppermost record collection.

Next time on hit parade… break out your polyester pants and glitterball for a spec-tacular Eurozone disco sensation!

]]> http://www.tiggyblog.com/2009/05/25/tiggys-hit-parade-puppet-pranks-with-harry-and-terry/feed/ 12 Tiggy’s Hit Parade – Songs for Gay Dogs http://www.tiggyblog.com/2009/04/17/tiggys-hit-parade-songs-for-gay-dogs/ http://www.tiggyblog.com/2009/04/17/tiggys-hit-parade-songs-for-gay-dogs/#comments Fri, 17 Apr 2009 10:55:09 +0000 Tiggy http://www.tiggyblog.com/?p=595 Music fans! Confused by the choice at your local record store? Want to get ‘with it’ and ‘hip’ like all the cats at the local Hop? Or something? Check out Tiggy’s Hit Parade!

(Unfortunately, Tiggy doesn’t possess a turntable or any musical knowledge, so all reviews are entirely fictional).

Do the mashed potato! And gravy. Unless you’re at a Billy Bob Thornton concert.

Hip hop for homo hounds!

4. Songs For Gay Dogs

Fido come out of the kennel? Bonzo batting for the other side? Celebrate your pooch’s newfound pride with this selection of hits from Paddy “P-Doggy” Roberts, world-renowned Trance DJ and gay-animal activist. Your camp canine will adore pulsating dance floor numbers including:

* My Big Bone
* Bassett In The Bushes (At The Off-Leash Park)
* Oooh, Bitch
* Your Teasing Tail
* Snoop Me, Dogg Stylie
* Littlest Hobo Love (You Go, Girlfriend!)

I don’t know if this album caters for the needs of lady-loving lady dogs as I didn’t really want to listen to it.

Next time on Hit Parade – A Puppet Show! No, really.

]]> http://www.tiggyblog.com/2009/04/17/tiggys-hit-parade-songs-for-gay-dogs/feed/ 13 Tiggy’s Hit Parade – Hot Muffins with Country Church http://www.tiggyblog.com/2009/03/19/tiggys-hit-parade-hot-muffins-with-country-church/ http://www.tiggyblog.com/2009/03/19/tiggys-hit-parade-hot-muffins-with-country-church/#comments Thu, 19 Mar 2009 11:00:52 +0000 Tiggy http://www.tiggyblog.com/?p=564 Music fans! Need to brighten up your miserable existence with a jolly jig or a dollop of jizzy jazz? Thank the Lord for Tiggy’s Hit Parade!

(Unfortunately, Tiggy doesn’t possess a turntable or any musical knowledge, so all reviews are entirely fictional).

Get jiggy with it!

3. Country Church

HP - COUNTRY CHURCH

You wanted an album jam-packed with ditties about grain farmers, fruit chutney and Jesus? You got it! This folk four-piece from the Prairies were hit headliners at the 1988 Saskatoon Festival of Music and Meat. Wholesome hits include:

* Taste My Muffins at the County Fayre

* The Cock Doth Rise Early In the Morn

* Foursome for the Lord

* Jesus Died So I Could Jig

* I Love to Bang (The Drum of Peace)

They should fill a sizeable slot on Nice Fluffy Family Happy Funtime with their holy hollering. Thanks to Worst Album Covers for their toppermost of the poppermost record collection.

Next Time on Hit Parade – A tuneful treat for your gay pet!

]]> http://www.tiggyblog.com/2009/03/19/tiggys-hit-parade-hot-muffins-with-country-church/feed/ 20 Tiggy’s Hit Parade – By Request Only http://www.tiggyblog.com/2009/02/12/tiggy-hit-parade-by-request-only/ http://www.tiggyblog.com/2009/02/12/tiggy-hit-parade-by-request-only/#comments Thu, 12 Feb 2009 12:00:21 +0000 Tiggy http://www.tiggyblog.com/?p=531 Music fans! Looking to bang, I mean, romance that special someone with a selection of sweet, sticky love songs? Check out this month’s sexy Hit Parade!

(Unfortunately, Tiggy doesn’t possess a turntable or any musical knowledge, so all reviews are entirely fictional).

Oh! I think I just came.

2. By Request Only – Ken

Oh Ken, be my ginger Valentine!

Ladies, one at a time! Immaculately groomed Ken will set female hearts a-fluttering with this hot collection of sultry love songs, just in time for Valentine’s Day!

I’m going to sleep with this record under my pillow and dream about Ken’s silky voice churning out hits including:

* Lovely Lady Lover Love

* My Hair, Your Place

* Senior Home Romeo

* I Love Your Lady Love

* My Love, Your Face

* Stop Calling Me (Angelina Jolie)

I dream of running my fingers through his thick gingery hair and feeling the prickle of his tangerine ‘tashe on my…

Next time on Hit Parade – The chutney one I was supposed to do this month. Lol.

]]> http://www.tiggyblog.com/2009/02/12/tiggy-hit-parade-by-request-only/feed/ 15 Tiggy’s Hit Parade – A Dead Good Record http://www.tiggyblog.com/2009/01/15/tiggys-hit-parade-a-dead-good-record/ http://www.tiggyblog.com/2009/01/15/tiggys-hit-parade-a-dead-good-record/#comments Thu, 15 Jan 2009 11:00:10 +0000 Tiggy http://www.tiggyblog.com/?p=503 Music fans! Confused by the choices in your record store? Want to get ‘with it’ like all the hip cats down at the Hop? Or something? Then check out Tiggy’s Hit Parade reviews!

(Unfortunately, Tiggy possesses neither a turntable nor any musical knowledge, so all reviews are entirely fictional).

Do the mashed potato! And gravy.

1. All My Friends Are Dead

HP - DEAD FRIENDS

Poor social outcast Freddie! No clues as to the nature of his entire social circle’s demise. Either Freddie has dark secrets and suspicious lumps of meat in his freezer, or his friends simply took their lives en mass after hearing his last album I’m Hiding In Your Wardrobe.

Freddie’s miserable medleys (possibly) include:

* Banned From Facebook Again

* Swingin’ (From The Rafters)

* My Hamster Left Home

* I’m Hiding In Your Basement

* It Tastes Like Chicken, But It Isn’t Chicken

A great party album for wakes and intensive care units! Thanks to Worst Album Covers for their toppermost of the poppermost record collection.

Next time on Hit Parade – Folky Frolics… and Fruit Chutney!

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