Hyper wank device! Awesome.Why do you never see any books on masturbation? Do It Yourself guides to Doing It Yourself? Considering everyone does it at least every day, sometimes more (and don’t pretend you don’t) there has been precious little written about it.

Everyone eats three times a day, and look at the massive cookery section at your local bookstore! We have cooking celebrities like Jamie Oliver and Gordon Ramsey, so why no experts on masturbation to give us all a helping hand?
On the other hand, I suppose we should be thankful Jamie and Gordon discovered their talent lay in cookery, not cockery.

Are the experts too busy playing with themselves to hold a pen and write a book? I suppose they could record their tugging tips by using a hands-free dictaphone (a dicktaphone)? An audio book on masturbation could be a best seller!

Just don’t listen to it while driving.


11 Responses to “Tiggy’s Thought for the Day – Masturbation”

All right, I want that cornbrator. This is a contest, right? To see who masturbates the most? I WIN! Now please send me my cornbrator. Thank you.

Hyperwank device???? Egad. If it gets too hot, does it make popcorn? If so, then I want it. Mmmmmm, popcorn…

You know…that corn is much greener for the world than using that big old oil can…

Wait a second. I’m not a sex expert, but I think that if somebody gives you a hand masturbating, then you’re not masturbating anymore, you’re getting a handjob.

P.S. — I just found out you were posting again. I’m glad. I missed you. Although because this was the first post I read, I mostly feel dirty. But it’s a good dirty.

THis is very cool. Like it.lol.
.-= Ronald Lee´s last blog ..The Crazy Dog Man =-.

Well, I used to have a book on masturbation. One of those Seventies Specials, called “Liberating Masturbation,” if I remember correctly. Where you’ve missed the boat is this was a book for women. Many of whom need a book. Instructions. Encouragement. Diagrams. Oh hell, electricity.
.-= murr brewster´s last blog ..Caesar’s Cut =-.

JD: We have a winner! Sadly, I do not have a cornbrater to spare, but feel free to print out the picture and look at it longingly.

Margaret: I really don’t know if intimacy and popcorn go together. If you know any different, please let us know!

VE: Oil can…? Mind, prepare to boggle.

Mike: Hey good to have you back! Enjoy your good dirtyness.

Ronald: It is cool. Utterly perverted and scary, but cool.

Murr: Photocopy! Please!

I no longer have it. I must have tossed it after the pages got stuck together. But here it is on amazon, where it says it’s out of print:

.-= murr brewster´s last blog ..The Numbers Racket =-.

“dicktaphone”- priceless!
.-= kathcom´s last blog ..George Washington, Lying Bastard =-.

Murr: Apparently the author is doing workshops. On self-love. Let’s hope it was all theory and no practical.

Kathcom: I wish someone would invent a dicktaphone. I can think of many uses.

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