20 More People I Don’t Want to Meet
Never mind the last bunch of losers, nutcases and dicks, here’s some more people I’m avoiding right now.
1. A cop wearing only one shoe
2. People who order skinny lattes but aren’t sure what skinny lattes are
3. People who believe Sunday is the first day of the week
4. People who insist a tomato is a fruit
5. A lap dancer that smells of cheese
6. Eighty-seven Goths
7. A door-to-door tampon salesman
8. A Christmas Parade Santa with a weak bladder
9. A vicar clenching a potato between his buttocks
10. An underage ambulance driver
11. A one-armed pizza chef
12. A dwarf dressed as a pixie
13. Anyone who bought a ShamWow because they liked the TV ad
14. A superhero with Tourette’s
15. A door-to-door door salesman
16. A bishop with a squirrel under his hat
17. A lawyer who lives in a trailer
18. A heavily perspiring Hooters Girl
19. A pixie dressed as a leprechaun
20. A Wal-Mart greeter with an erection
Have you met anyone you don’t want to meet recently?
A Wal-Mart greeter with an erection might make sense if Wal-Mart has condoms on sale. Or coat-hangers.
Oh, and there have been vicars who have clenched much worse things between their buttocks than potatoes. I say, give them the potatoes if it helps them to sublimate their sexual tensions.
Joel Klebanoff’s last blog post..NEWSFLASH: New Regulatory Agency
1. That call center guy from India.
2. A proctologist that insists on shaking your hand.
MadMadMargo’s last blog post..Me-Me’s Playhouse: Caption This! No. 7
It really pisses me off when people call a tomato a fruit.
Sue’s last blog post..When Grandpa Forgot His Teeth
7. New or used?
Technically, this is 106 people you don’t want to meet, 19 individuals and 87 goths.
Although…2-4 are an undetermined number of people and, sadly, could be far far more than 87.
13 is also indeterminate, but surely that’s actually zero.
Stephanie’s last blog post..Thieving Thursday: Things To Do
There are just so many… where do I begin?
~ a cowboy in a clown suit herding circus dogs
~ any parent who tethers their child in public (In private may be tolerable for kiddy control, but COME ON! You don’t really want to admit that to others!)
~ the guy who sells tickets at the porno show (or anyone who attends said show)
~ obese people who wear thongs to the beach (and I don’t mean flip-flops!)
~ a waiter who picks his nose while taking your order
The list goes on and on.
Sincerely,
Cat Lady
Larew’s last blog post..And I Thought I Was a Slob…
Oh dear – a tomato is a fruit ….. shall I shoot myself now?
Daddy Papersurfer’s last blog post..OUT OF LEFT FIELD
Actually, I think I WOULD like to meet a superhero with Tourette’s. Could be fun. And gee, what would their names be?
The Crimson Twitch
Flinchman
The Profane Avenger
Chris’s last blog post..The Teacher Files, Volume II: Mr. Garland
I don’t want to come home and meet the Jehovah Witnesses standing on my porch after I’ve just spent the morning at church.
MA Fat Woman’s last blog post..Men And Their Chainsaws…Part III
I saw a Wal Mart greeter with an erection. It was an old lady. Apparently, she did not make enough at WM to finish the sex change operation. Either that or she stuffed a tube of salami from the deli down her pants. Guess she was having company over for supper.
redraider’s last blog post..Creativity, Three Nipples And The Police…
Joel: Potatoes, coconuts, pineapples – who knows what those crazy clerics are hiding up their robes.
Margo: And yes madam if you can provide me with the serial number of your microwave you will qualify for a free credit card and madam we can sign you up now if you stay on the line and remove your clothes and madam please don’t put the phone down
Sue: Next thing, they’ll be telling us cucumber is a fruit too! Twats, the lot of them.
Stephanie: Thanks for working that out for me! Wow, I have more people to avoid than I thought.
Laraw: Remind me never to go to dinner and a show with you.
Daddy: Renounce and we may let you live.
Chris: You do have a point. However, I can see limitations. “Oh Twat Man, please help us!” “No, fuck off.”
MA: These people are following you home from church? An interesting tactic. Highly unholy, but interesting.
Red: Your life is so much more interesting than mine.
Hang on a minute, I was goth in Eighty-seven. Meaning black hair, white skin, but I called myself a punk. Much cooler but you definitely wouldn’t have wanted to meet me then. By eighty seven goths, do you mean you wouldn’t want to meet me now? But I’ve changed.
kathcom’s last blog post..Sandwich Fixins #6
Scientifically, a tomato is a fruit…
Scientifically, goths are also fruits…
John J Savo, the Authoring Auctioneer’s last blog post..Monsieur Edward Chanticleer
Kath: Keep away from me! Keep away! I have garlic, you know. (Does that work on Goths? Or is that just vampires?)
John: Keep away from me, you science-voodoo conjurer!
Thanks for visiting our blog and I think yours is really interesting I’ll be back.
Dorothy from grammology
grammology.com
Dorothy Stahlnecker’s last blog post..Happy Fathers Day Dads
Why 87 goths and not 88?
hindleyite’s last blog post..TV Review: Top Gear Series 13 Episode 1
In my garden, tomatoes are covered by don’t ask, don’t tell, by Goth.
I’d rather not meet ANYONE that smells like cheese…
Naked fat men are pretty high on my list of those to not meet.
I never met a man I didn’t like. No, wait, that was Will Rogers. I’m pretty sure I don’t want to meet the guy who shops at King Soopers wearing a wife-beater T-shirt, black shoes, black socks and a diaper. No pants, just the diaper. Used. Yes, I’m sure now, I don’t want to meet him. Again. Too late to do anything about the first time.
MikeWJ’s last blog post..It’s Summertime, and the Living is Hot, Sweaty and Miserable
Dorothy: You are the first person to accuse my site of being interesting. Cheers!
Hindleyite: Interesting fact, there are nver more than 87 Goths in the world at any one time. If you are unfortunate enough to become a Goth and you happen to be Goth no. 88, then they bludgeon you to death with the sacred Axe of Doom. No, really.
Dr. F: You have Goths in your garden? Is your garden in a cemetery?
Tegan: Oddly enough, naked high fat men that smell of cheese are on my list of people I’d like to meet.
MikeMJ: Welcome! You know, I think that guy works at my local Tim Hortons. I’m sure he licks the donuts when no-one’s looking.
OMFG the Wal Mart greeter with an erection was THE BEST! If I DID actually meet one I would ask why the hell they let a 70 year old retired guy pepsi challenge the Viagra vs Cialis.
Truly a Trailer Park Boys fan to think of that twisted shit
Haha nice list Tiggy, thank you for it!