Comments on: Guest Poster – Eddie McMayonnaise On the Telephone!

By: dani

dani — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 06:29:52 +0000

OMG I can't stand those MOFO'S..I usually just take the phone off the hook and let them listen to the kids scream.. dani’s last blog post..I just don't care..

By: Larew

Larew — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 01:31:52 +0000

Caller ID is worth every cent you pay for it. I personally like the trick of hanging up on yourself while you're in mid-sentence. Makes them think it was their fault. Then you just don't answer again. The best, though, is offering to sell them something... like the gift wrap your kid's selling for school. You can go on for hours about how their purchase will allow your child to win the blow-up bean bag chair that they've been salivating over for ages! Larew’s last blog post..Birthday Greetings!

By: Eddie McMayonnaise

Eddie McMayonnaise — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 00:28:19 +0000

Hammy: Aggghhh! How did you find me? You people always track me down in the end. I’m calling my realtor right now, buddy!

Benji: Was your mother a guide on the ‘Maid of the Mist’ boat tour at Niagara Falls? I don’t want to get into details about what we did under those plastic capes, but… If she wasn’t, then the answer, sadly, is no.

Stephanie: Nice idea, although I don’t think Mrs. McMayo will be too pleased about that. Dirty talk makes her very irritable.

VE: I’m sure Hammy there is taking all your details as we speak. And if you tell him your favourite Adam Sandler movie, you will be entered into a free draw for a holiday in Florida…

Daddy: How inconsiderate! How are you supposed to call 911 when they are yacking on the phone about credit cards? Bah!

By: Daddy Papersurfer

Daddy Papersurfer — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 18:34:12 +0000

They always ring at exactly the wrong time don't they? ..... I usually say I'm half way through a heart attack and could they please phone back later ...... they never do ..... Daddy Papersurfer’s last blog post..WHAT WILL THE NEIGHBOUR THINK? ….. a new play by Daddy Papersurfer

By: VE

VE — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 17:43:15 +0000

- Some kind of meat packed into a tupperware container.
- Some sort of frozen healthy dinner thing
- Ice that I paid $1.50 for and then didn’t use but was too stubborn to let melt so I threw the bag into the freezer
- A chocolate milkshake from four months ago that I forgot

There…the contents of my freezer…can I get that dodgy loan now?

Funny stuff…

VE’s last blog post..VE’s "Devil Went Down to Georgia" Analysis

By: Stephanie Barr

Stephanie Barr — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 16:52:53 +0000

Tell them you're a professional phone-sex operator and that they're welcome to give you their spiel...at $15/first minute and $10/minute thereafter. Make them give you their credit card number first. Stephanie Barr’s last blog post..For Davida: Pseudonym or Not?

By: Chowner

Chowner — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 12:02:57 +0000

Dearest Mr. McMayonnaise, After reading about your dislike for all things polite and phone related, I have been able to solve a lifelong mystery: I am your long lost son. sincerely, Benji McMayonnaise. Chowner’s last blog post..Answers you should avoid when filling out your adoption papers

By: hammy

hammy — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 11:43:39 +0000

Hi, sir. How are you? I am sorry to hear that you had to move house, and I hope that things will be fine with you soon. You may not have realized it, but your impromptu house shifting rather put a road bump to my sales pitch, you know. But do not worry, sir. If you will give me the phone number to your new home, we can resume where we had dropped off (viz a polite inquiry on how you came to disconnect the call in the middle of our earlier conversation). So please leave your number. In case you are unable to do so, sir, we just need your date of birth, zodiac sign, and the color and make of your car, and we shall find you. If you have also altered your dining habits, please let us know about your new schedule. P.S. We also offer attractive schemes on children's tree-houses. hammy’s last blog post..To zig, to zag nevermore