I need a Blackberry.

Do you ever write down reminders to yourself but can’t understand what they mean later on? I’ve looked through my trusty jotter and attempted to decipher the cryptic crap I’ve scribbled down. I’m sure they were very meaningful and important at the time…

(These are all genuine. I wish they weren’t).

“Dora – ages 5+, two AA batteries”

Was this a reminder to buy a small child a birthday gift? Is some poor forgotten niece crying into her party dress because evil Aunt Tiggy forgot her birthday again? At least I reminded myself to buy batteries. And I hope it wasn’t a reminder to buy the poor child this –

Dora is exploring some weird things these days.

I’m not sure what kind of exploring Dora gets up to these days, but I’m thinking that it isn’t quite suitable for ages 5+.

Crusty old seaman. Sponsored by HP?“HP Sea Shanties!”

Hewlett Packard is well known for computers, printers and gadgets that bleep and costs a fortune in toner. But I had no idea they’d branched into coastal folk songs. They must be toe-tappingly good because I’ve put an exclamation mark at the end.

Does HP now employ a sou’wester-clad musical troupe to sing hearty songs about plug ‘n’ play pirates? Or how the crystal-sharp light from a HP monitor guided a storm-tossed fishing boat to shore? I checked their website but I couldn’t find Nautical Ditty Downloads anywhere.

“Now want phone to my around the stairs? Why.”

Worryingly, I wrote this at work. Even allowing for my appalling handwriting I can’t make this one out at all. I have to phone around stair repair companies, but I’m not sure why? Is my phone being moved to the stairs, as I’m being turfed from my desk to somewhere more appropriate to my position?

I’ve obviously been spending too much time inhaling photocopier fumes. Maybe I should give HP a call about a replacement machine. But I want it in marine blue.

But does he taste good mashed?Mike Smith potato”

For those who don’t know, Mr. Smith is a local musician and actor who plays lovable Bubbles in the Canadian comedy Trailer Park Boys. He is not, nor has ever been, a starchy, tuberous root vegetable. I’ve never seen a potato or any other vegetable that looks remotely like Mike Smith (mind you, I did once see an onion that looked like Bono).

What was this bizarre reminder for? Do I owe him a potato? Does he owe me a potato? Is he starring in a hilarious root-vegetable-based comedy show? What the hell would a root-vegetable-based-comedy show be like?

I couldn’t possibly imagine, even after inhaling photocopier fumes.

“National *Something* Day Today”

Hurrah! It's National Something Day!I had no idea Canada celebrates National Something Day. Was it a statutory holiday? I’m guessing National Something Day is the day when Canadians honour any noun of their choice.

How about National Penis Day? National Free Cocktail Day? National Tiggy Day? Maybe all three?

I didn’t record the date so I’ll end up missing it again next year. Bugger.

I think I’m going to invest in a voice recorder and record my reminders instead. Mind you I’ll probably end up with a stream of messages blabbering “Now want phone to my around the stairs? Why…”

 


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11 Responses to “Tiggy’s Cryptic Reminders List”

Excellent note-taking, Tiggy. My own problem is not so much WHAT I write down, but the way I write it. I have terrible handwriting. I have handwriting so bad I cannot read it myself. I have actually gone to coworkers and asked them, “What do you think this says?” They have as good of a chance of knowing as I do.

And I thought my notes were bad!! Funny post!!

That Dora toy is disturbing. You know the designers got a laugh out of that somewhere along the line.

Do you get the day off for National Something Day? I think we need that here in the states!

Just hilarious! I love it!

I write reminders all the time which I can’t read because of my handwriting

Did you pay my cousin jethro anything to use his photo in your article???

another good one by the way 😉

A HA HA HA HA! I wish I could turn my cryptic scribbles into a hilarious post. (Maybe you were supposed to remember National Cock Pirate Day?)

Maybe you should make secondary notes about your notes. Or you could create a cryptic symbolic code system that makes no sense.

Jenn: Have you considered finger painting pictures instead? You’d also have some nice artwork to decorate your office with.

Jeff: Sorry, I can’t quite read what you wrote there.

Kristi: They laughed. While they were getting paid. I wish I had their job!

Chat: As long as there are parades and cake, who cares what we are celebrating?

Roadgurl: Yes, mocking the afflicted is a favourite sport of my readers!

Robert: Maybe we should just avoid writing things down all together. The stress of trying to decipher the messages far outweighs the important stuff we were reminding ourselves to do. Like picking up elderly relatives from the airport or something.

RLD: Hmm, do I owe your cousin Jethro a potato too? This is getting very confusing.

JD: Oh my God! National Cock Pirate Day has come and gone and you didn’t remind me!

C.: A good idea! I wonder that’s where the ancient Egyptians came up with hieroglyphics. Nothing to do with tales of Pharoahs and wars, but a shopping list for beetles, papayrus and dog food. Stupid Historians!

Ohhhhh…so one can use this thing called “paper” to jot down notes…
I must remember that. I always write notes on my hand in ink and half the time they get rubbed off before I need them.
Excellent post. My favorite was “HP sea shanties.” This economy is worse than I thought if HP is branching out that far.

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