Illegal downloads - its' the end of days, I tell you.

The music and movie industry is upset! Everyone is downloading from the internet, ripping CDs and movies to their iPods and making poor media executives very cross. We are hurting their feelings by recklessly buying their products then – the cheek of it – copying them to other devices without giving them any more money! It’s like buying a coffee and demanding another one free as a “backup” or to share with friends later. Trust me, this argument doesn’t go down well at Starbucks.

Fortunately governments everywhere are putting a stop to this nonsense. Soon all internet downloading will be banned, copying a song onto an iPod will mean 10 years in jail and as for buying a DVD and watching it on your laptop… all I can say is I’m glad we don’t have the death penalty in Canada.

Can you imagine a life without downloads, iPods or DVDs? What to do?

All together now - Smack ma bitch up...– Now your iPod is defunct, simply hire a busker to follow you around and play the songs you love. They only make $4 a day, so give them $5 and a list of tunes they have to learn by midnight. It’s a win-win situation!

– Dreams are often better than those rubbish DVD movies – and they’re free! Simply go to bed at 6pm and get ready for a night of entertainment. Eat some cheese if you crave a scary nightmarish thriller, or take some drugs for a mind-blowing pot-luck feature. You may dream up a movie so brilliant you can sell it to the movie companies and recoup some of the money you’ve wasted on their 3rd rate dross over the years!

Who needs Hollywood anyway? Nuhh.– Remember the movie Be Kind, Rewind where that podgy bloke from the Foo Fighters made his own movies? Be your own Hollywood superstar and film yourself starring in your favourite blockbusters! If you are a bit ugly you could try hilarious slapstick comedy. If you are more attractive or have large physical assets, movies of an adult nature could be an option.

– Listening to music or watching movies is a terrible time waster. Just think of the new hobbies you could try instead of sitting on your arse staring at the screen. Learn a new language, breed hamsters or even play the tuba! There are great resources online you can download and… oh, hang on.

Your new home!– If the RIAA is going to have to prise your iPod from your cold dead hands before your delete your illicit collection, consider becoming an outlaw! Run away from the authorities and form a commune in the wilderness with your fellow desperate downloaders. Away from the iron grip of the law you can indulge in other dangerous criminal behaviour like smoking indoors, making hash brownies and distributing photocopies of whatever the hell you like – there’s no copyright laws in your Republic. Awesome!

Follow these tips and you’ll never have to spend money buying overpriced music and movies again! Not that some of you were in the first place…

Their busker plays all the best ABBA hits over at Humor-Blogs.com


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8 Responses to “Illegal Downloading is Naughty. Can You Live Without It?”

Do they have electricity in this commune to re-charge my Ipod? If so, I may join.

I don’t think that guitar guy is wearing any knickers…that’s an extra 5 bucks an hour.

But will the busker repeat “This Could Be the Magic” over and over and shuffle all the songs on my “All (Cool) Music” and “This Just In!” playlists?

I hate to say it, but that might not be a perfect system.

And what do you do if the busker’s voice starts skipping? Can you smack him to get the song going again?

you are so wise.

Hypocritical: Actually, ‘Nicholas’ is a great name for that busker! Although I’d prefer he kept his guitar where it is.

JD: Your wish is your busker’s command. Although you may need to give him some smokes and a few cans of beer.

Nanny Goat: If his voice starts skipping, take away the cans of beer, he;s probably overdone it.

Blaine: Yes, it has been said! Well, only by you, just then.

No, I couldn’t live without my downloads!

Excuse my French but bollox to the MCPA, RIAA and other fat cat conglomerates.

They should get with the times and adopt new business models which take into account the internet. Instead of using draconian laws and bullying people into submission.

I wish they’d take me to court, I’d make an example of them.

They really do boil my blood.

Did you know happy birthday is owned by Michael Jackson, every time you whistle this ditty you should in theory be paying royalties to the fiddler.

this got me thinkin., can i live without it?

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