Say NO to C-10! Grrrr!

Those of us involved in the Canadian creative community (and those of us pretending to be, for the purpose of this story) are worried. The government is trying to introduce a Bill called C-10, a draconian law preventing artists from using government loans to finance ‘challenging’ movies. Canadian banks are often reluctant to finance such movies, citing pathetic excuses like “They’re usually drivel”.

Just in case C-10 passed, I thought I’d better get my claim in with the Tax Credit Department before the men in grey totally destroyed my freedom of expression. I felt my luck was in with my latest venture, a scarifying indictment of capitalist urban society entitled The Cock Whisperer.

Auditions were going very well.Based on a true experience, The Cock Whisperer is the powerful story of a girl who has the gift-like ability to banish men’s rampant and uncontrollable sexual desires by sitting in a room with them for five minutes. I’d assembled a cast from the many out-of-work actors in my neighbourhood and spent several hours sweating over the script.

Unfortunately, the Tax Credit Department did not share my enthusiasm for the project and demanded vicious rewrites before they would consider scribbling out any cheques. They claimed my touching tale about touching todgers was merely an excuse for me to film attractive gentlemen without their underpants, and was not in the Canadian public interest to fund it.

I remonstrated that actually the Canadian public wanted, nay, demanded to sit in a movie theatre for two hours looking at men’s units – all my friends had said so. Apart from the male ones. And the local vicar. And my neighbour, who actually called the cops when I asked to borrow their hot tub for a few scenes. I think the cops are beginning to tire of being called to my street.

My fight with the Police State suits will continue as I refuse to compromise my artistic integrity. Like filming Titanic without the iceberg, you cannot have a story about cocks without cocks.

Failing that I’ll borrow my mate Sparky’s video camera and produce the bloody movie myself without their stupid tax credits.

Anyone got a hot tub I can borrow?


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10 Responses to “Bill C-10: It’s Not Porn, It’s Art”

Yikes I better get those forms in the mail..:)

LOL … sounds like a valid request to moi. But on a serious note, this entire thing makes me nervous.

When were the auditions!? I know youre town, there are a lot of out of work actors, LOL!!

are there going to be chickens in this movie too?…seems like a waste of film,
to make a movie about something that is seen
for free on the Net……..

Gotta love the old “If I don’t get it/like it, why do I have to fund it?” rationale.

Three cheers for ignorant lawmakers!

Well folks, if you can lend a hand, want a small part or can offer your services, please let me know.
Not quite sure how the chickens can be worked into the storyline, but I’ll see what I can do.

We’ll show those ignorant politicians!

Lol Tiggy, great story! I’ve been on vacation (not Norway I’m afraid :)) and have some catching up to do!

You can use my hot tub, my camera, and my cock. I think the industry as a whole has slighted the public by disallowing male nudity… Women are beautiful, but so are men! What is wrong with showing the package of the other 50% of humanity?

Jeff: Welcome back, wherever you’ve been!

Thanks Steve! Funny, you’re not the first person to offer his services to me today… I seem to have a queue forming…

[…] artsy adult movie project The Cock Whisperer attracted international media attention! It even made headlines on World Sex News. Looky […]

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